During the 10th board exams, maths paper, I stayed up all night practicing formulas because I feared if I would sleep, it will all vanish. Every time my mother took an around on my floor to check up on me, I acted like I am sleeping. Instantly, I would wake up and read below the blanket or in the washroom to avoid light attention. If anyone asks, the restroom is always a justifiable excuse. After early morning short nap when I woke up, my eyes won’t open, and it swelled like a bee just stung it. With all hue and cry from mom about how can I be so careless before the board exam, I stood to wander with an open eye which hand to use to keep my eyes open and which one to hold my answering sheet. I didn’t care about anything else but to get everything out of my mind correctly to that answering sheet, after an instant anti-allergen from dad’s medical box and off to exam hall. Those were the shortest 3 hours I remember.
Since that time, it was almost ritualistic to have somebody part swollen during the exam as part of the allergy. It never happened to me post the exam life.
After a series of tests and visits to doctors, it was concluded by all of them that it is normal allergy-induced due to citrus, fermented food, etc. items. Over the period, I realized; still, it didn’t occur all the time, but only when the mind is highly stressed or in extreme temperature condition. Last when I had this episode was when I thought I can do MBA and attempted CAT. Since then, I realise I am good with hard work with one engineering degree, but any further exam stress on my body and mind.
Why am I talking about it now?
It happened after 11 years of inactive phase suddenly last week.
I have kept the maximum level of optimism about the current situation from the start of COVID19 and lockdown news. However, it imposes a very different level of challenges at a personal and professional level. I can say it is bullish to deny there is a difference between two because nowadays, we can’t even leave work at the door and enter in personal life as the work has moved into a home now.
Talking about stress, it works very differently on different people. Some do overeating, whereas others do get sweet cravings, oversleeping or insomnia, sudden disconnect from the surrounding environment or people or, in some cases overworking and, in another case, too lazy to do anything. Another form is basic arguments over things that don’t matter at all, annoying on the smallest instant, or in another extreme one doesn’t even follow the basic conversation around and goes into withdrawal.
It is very different and undefined for everyone. It is highly likely many of us are experiencing any or some or other form of stress symptoms in currently locked downtimes.
I had got many suggestions when my stress levels shoot up to a visible level. I decided to write this post because I self-analyzed on the fact that why none of the pieces of advice worked but rather what and how I controlled it. I am sure that the real bit is going to be very handy.
Things that can help you if you are feeling any of the stress symptoms :
- Break the vicious cycle of eating, sleeping, doing a particular action, or inaction state you are getting trapped. If you need to do, ask, say, or indulge in it. I stopped thinking about work and focused on reading and writing, which consumed me to the fullest.
- I was irritated with any preachy, suggestive, and, however, politically or situationally correct advance I was getting from friends and family. So, I stopped listening to help myself first, instead of making others feel good about it. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves for keeping their conscious clean. They want to be meaningful and relevant, but this is not about them; it is about “you” you need to heal the way it helps you. Internalize as long as you don’t take it to the extreme. And turn it into depression. Ask for help, if it confuses you pick up random distractions, but finding grip over yourself is vital.
- Of the complete problem statement of what is all causing this stress, find a small yet critical part you still have limited control over. Everyone says you shouldn’t stress over things you can’t control, but we are always in control of many things we don’t realize. The trick here is to find the part as a saving threat you have actual control over. What is that one thing you can do? Did you not know that? Then discover it. If you know, but you aren’t brave to accept it or act upon it. Now is the time to do it.
Seek help, plan, get out of your comfort zone, take hard decisions you wouldn’t consider otherwise, go onwards, upwards, and beyond.
If you fail or stop here, let’s accept not the stress, but you are allowing an unknown ailment to control you with a fear you are perfectly capable of solving.
- I am not a religious person; I am a more spiritual and karma believer. I always believed in the GOD, and EVIL both equally resides in us. It is our call whom we want to awaken and get inspired. Another essential fact remains here is FAITH. A journey to the source to destination can only proceed if one believes there is a way to it. Because once the identification of what part you will take control over and solve in this big jigsaw starts, with simple faith. Unless you believe that once you start this journey, a lot of unknown pieces will come together before you know it and help you; you won’t reach the desired goal.
- Focusing on the only on that one part is not going to be easy. So many distractions, procrastination, and fears would want to pull you back. Back to the same distractions, habits, and loop, that started you with a stress loop. Dejection is self-indulgence. It is very easy to crawl back to self-pity and seek comfort. Here is when you can either practice the best self-control or ask for external help. Ask your family or friends to categorically stop you when you get in self-pity, cynical, and doubtful phase. Draw your own boundaries.
- The uncertainty tunnel is long and dark, and light is far, but keep the distance from doubts. You need to bring the nano weapon that you possess now, your resolve, your intentions, and your determination to solve the small part of the big puzzle world has thrown at all of us. The actual tiny miny problem that you are determined to solve from series of complex difficulties that are passing the dark tunnel demands. There is an essential role for you to carry out. Focus is the key to the part you are in control of. Music, targets, goals whatever helps get back your focus on small tasks.
While you do it, don’t forget to talk to yourself. It is always liberating when we allow ourselves this luxury.
I hope this helps you all in a small way to handle uncertain locked-down world throw as a challenge to all of us.
Stay Alive, Stay Sane !